Lily Allen revealed that before meeting her husband, David Harbour, she had never experienced intimacy while sober. Reflecting on her past, the British singer shared in an interview with the Times of London on Saturday, “I don’t think I’d ever had sex with anybody not drunk before I got together with him.
So, that was different for sure.” She described the experience with Harbour as something entirely distinct—“unavoidable, conscious, and real.” She added that Harbour’s extensive experience with sobriety made their journey together even more supportive.
British singer shares journey to sobriety and her bond with David Harbour
Allen, now 39, has maintained five years of sobriety and serves as an ambassador for the Forward Trust, an addiction charity associated with Kate Middleton. Her husband, 49-year-old Harbour, has also been sober since the age of 25. The couple tied the knot in Las Vegas in September 2020, with an Elvis impersonator officiating the ceremony.
Earlier this year, Allen openly discussed Harbour’s requests in the bedroom, humorously noting on her podcast, Miss Me?, “I wonder if I kink-shame my husband. He often asks for things, and I’m like, ‘No, babe, it’s not happening.’”
Allen began her sobriety journey well before marrying Harbour, driven by hitting “rock bottom” after her marriage to Sam Cooper ended in 2016. One painful memory involved confronting Cooper at his home after discovering he had moved on, which caused distress for their children.
Another turning point came during a conversation with a friend after ordering a gin and tonic. Her friend remarked, “Oh, you really need that drink,” which left her feeling deeply unsettled. “It was because I did,” she later admitted, recognizing how much alcohol controlled her life. Determined to change, she attended her first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting the very next morning.
Now fully committed to her recovery, Allen participates in AA meetings twice a week, both in person and online. She credits her two children for helping her stay accountable, noting that they ensure she prioritizes these sessions. “They understand it takes work and know it’s something I have to focus on,” she explained.
