On Tuesday, Joan Vassos opened up about her feelings of disloyalty toward her late husband, John, as she developed romantic interests while participating in The Golden Bachelorette. The 61-year-old TV personality, whose 32-year marriage ended with John’s death from pancreatic cancer in early 2021, shared her experience with People magazine. She reflected on the challenge of adjusting to life as a widow and the struggle of processing her grief.
“My husband passed away during COVID, and I didn’t really allow myself to grieve properly,” Vassos admitted. “I was focused on being strong and ended up suppressing my emotions.”
Vassos found comfort in therapy, using the analogy of holding two balloons to embrace both her past and future relationships
As she tried to come to terms with her loss, Vassos attended group therapy but found it difficult due to pandemic restrictions. Realizing she had developed feelings for other men on the show, she felt compelled to confront her emotions.
She confessed, “I felt overwhelmingly guilty about having feelings for someone else. It felt like cheating on John, even though he’s no longer here.”
Joan recalled that before his death, John had expressed his desire for her to find love again. “He told me he didn’t want me to be alone and encouraged me to find someone new. He said, ‘You are the greatest wife in the world. I want you to find somebody,’” she recounted.
Initially, Vassos struggled with the idea of moving on after more than three decades of marriage, but the mental health professionals on The Golden Bachelorette provided guidance. “They compared it to holding two balloons, one with John and one with a new potential partner. You don’t have to let go of one to embrace the other,” she explained.
She found this analogy comforting and felt it was a valuable lesson. Talking about her late husband with the men on the show became easier for her. “It felt natural to share stories about him. It wasn’t weird; it was a way to keep his memory alive, and the guys seemed to appreciate it.”
Joan also values sharing her memories of John as a tribute. “Creating memorials like benches or trees didn’t seem enough, so I decided the best way to honor him is to keep his memory alive through stories. It brings me joy,” she said. Vassos believes that participating in The Golden Bachelorette has been therapeutic, providing her with a sense of healing.
