Deryck Whibley has shared insights into the factors that contributed to his marriage’s demise with Avril Lavigne. In his recently released memoir, Walking Disaster: My Life Through Heaven and Hell (available Tuesday, Oct. 8), the Sum 41 frontman, 44, candidly discusses the end of his three-year union with the pop-punk star, 40. He attributes the split to career shifts that left them both physically and emotionally “distant.”
Following the release of their band’s lackluster album, which was without former manager Greig Noori—who Whibley accused of sexual abuse in his memoir—Whibley faced personal challenges.
His struggles were compounded by a herniated disc that demanded months of recovery while Lavigne was busy promoting her 2007 album The Best Damn Thing and her hit single “Girlfriend.”
Although he felt immense pride for his ex-wife, he often faced ridicule in the media, being referred to as “Mr. Lavigne.” Whibley also noted that rumors of Lavigne’s alleged infidelity circulated in the press, but he chose to dismiss those claims.
Reflecting on their marriage, Whibley writes, “There was no single moment or situation that I could point to that caused things to turn.” He emphasizes that their relationship had not been on a downward trajectory; they rarely fought and appeared to be completely in sync.
Initially, he tried to convince himself that their issues were just a “passing moment,” but eventually, he realized it was necessary to confront their situation.
“We kept living separate lives until I couldn’t take it anymore,” the “Fat Lip” performer admits. Inspired by the lyrics of Tom Petty’s “I Need to Know,” he decided to tackle their problems head-on and issued an ultimatum: they needed to either repair their relationship or he would move on. Frustrated with being “humiliated in the media,” he hoped this ultimatum would serve as “a wake-up call.”
“When she was finally home for a few days, I laid it all out for her,” Whibley recalls. “’We have to go back to the respectful, loving relationship we once had, or we need to just call it quits,’” he stated. “This isn’t working, and I can’t live like this anymore.” He recounts that Lavigne’s response was devoid of tears or conflict; the decision was made with little discussion.
Whibley and Lavigne tied the knot in 2006 when she was 21 and he was 26. When their separation was announced in 2009, a source revealed to PEOPLE that Lavigne recognized she was too young to fulfill the role of a wife.
“I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship,” Lavigne expressed on her website following the announcement.
Another insider close to the couple shared with PEOPLE that they had been facing significant issues for at least six months, clarifying that the split wasn’t due to Whibley wanting children or Lavigne dating anyone else.