On her 54th birthday, Bethenny Frankel took a moment to contemplate the “complicated” relationship she had with her late mother, Bernadette Birk. Sharing her thoughts on Instagram, the former reality television star expressed that celebrating her birthday, which she shared with her mother who succumbed to lung cancer in April 2024, has often been a source of discomfort.
“I was born on my mother’s 20th birthday,” she noted, accompanying her reflections with a series of personal photos. “I have never publicly acknowledged our shared birthday. The problems of our relationship brought pain and shame, making the purpose of this day unavoidable.”
Bethenny shares a heartfelt post on finding peace after her mother’s passing
Frankel elaborated on how birthdays have historically induced “incredible anxiety” for her, tied to the difficulties within her mother-daughter relationship. “Much like Goldilocks, I found that too little celebration felt lacking, while too much was overwhelming,” she articulated.
“The greatest trauma of my life arose from this bond with my mother, and we were forever intertwined on this particular day. As a child, I would become physically ill each year.” However, this year, she feels a shift, stating, “I now feel liberated, lighter, and happier, as if a burden has been lifted.”
She described this transformation as deeply meaningful, expressing pride in her age and her identity as a mother, friend, partner, and individual. “I possess everything I desire and require,” she added.
In closing her heartfelt message, the former Bravo star expressed gratitude for her growth, writing, “Thank you for the most valuable gift I could receive: your love, understanding, and support. I learn from you daily. Happy Birthday to me… xoxo 🎉 🎂 🎁”
She also expressed excitement about a vintage Mercedes she acquired in her mother’s honor, incorporating hashtags like #happybirthday and #loveyourself. Frankel’s post included nostalgic images of her with her mother and a recent photo with her 14-year-old daughter, Bryn Hoppy.
Additionally, she shared moments from her solo adventures over the past year, a video featuring the vintage car, and a candid shot of her holding hands with an unidentified man. In April, the Real Housewives of New York City alum announced her mother’s passing at the age of 73 in a prior Instagram post.
“My mother passed away due to lung cancer. She was a complex individual, often in pain, feeling isolated, and grappling with her demons,” Frankel shared at that time. “She was incredibly beautiful, having escaped her abusive home as swiftly as I fled mine.”
She described her mother as intelligent, witty, cultured, and wise, while acknowledging the struggles Birk faced throughout her life, including a lifelong eating disorder, alcoholism, and self-destructive behaviors.
Frankel recognized that her mother wasn’t “equipped to be a mother,” but added, “She loved me, and I treasure the beautiful memories we created.” She credited Birk with teaching her valuable lessons about “food, humor, culture, and resilience.”
It was her daughter Bryn who inspired Frankel to reconnect with Birk. “She cherished Bryn, and they shared a love for art,” Bethenny recounted, revealing that her mother left her assets to Hoppy.
Additionally, Frankel discussed her strained relationships with both her parents, including her father, Bobby Frankel, who died in 2009 while she was filming Season 3 of RHONY.
