Fresh out of graduate school, my husband and I were introduced by our parents, and since our values aligned — both wanting marriage and a large family — we followed a traditional path. After dating for a year, we had a big wedding in my parents’ backyard, moved to the suburbs, and by our one-year anniversary, I was pregnant. My husband, a doctor, began his residency soon after, and we plunged into the realities of marriage and parenthood.
There were a few things that kept us together during those years. Our physical chemistry was intense. Neither of us had much experience before meeting — only five or six partners each — but after our first month together, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
“Through betrayal and struggles, we committed to therapy and change, working hard to restore our relationship.”
This explains how we ended up with four children! Despite the exhaustion and challenges of parenthood, I still found myself deeply attracted to him, and we would be intimate whenever we had the energy.
Another strength we had was our parenting skills. He was a devoted father despite his demanding work schedule, and I embraced my role as a stay-at-home mom. However, things weren’t always smooth. When I was pregnant with our third child, I was overwhelmed by the constant sleep deprivation and endless discussions about kids and parenting.
I grew resentful of my husband’s exciting career, which he claimed was for our family’s benefit, though I believed it was driven by his ego. The constant exhaustion left me angry and bitter, and our relationship began to deteriorate. We avoided each other, barely speaking except about the kids, and by the time our third child arrived, we were practically strangers.
It was during this time that I began to suspect he was having an affair. At the hospital, while I was in labor, I noticed he was constantly on his phone. Though he claimed it was work-related, something felt off, but I didn’t have the energy to dwell on it.
After returning home with our newborn, things only worsened. He went right back to work, leaving me to manage the household and children, while I harbored suspicions about his infidelity. Friends reassured me that he wasn’t the type, but I couldn’t shake the feeling.
When he received a promotion and his office threw a party, I hoped it would be a chance to reconnect. However, at the party, the office manager brought him a drink exactly how he liked it, and suddenly, everything clicked. I realized in that moment that my suspicions were correct. I left the party in a state of shock, and that night, he didn’t return home until 3 a.m., ignoring my obvious distress.
The next day, I confronted him, demanding the truth, and he admitted to the affair. He confessed that it had only been five times over two years, but I was devastated. I told him to leave and made plans to move forward without him.
However, he was desperate to win me back, offering to quit his job, move towns, and even attend therapy. Eventually, we began to rebuild our relationship, and after four years, we’ve regained trust, had another child, and now communicate openly about everything. Despite the betrayal, we’ve managed to stay together, committed to our marriage and family.
